The Bear Minimum

Upon opening up an email from my mother I’m greeted with a sad thing this day.

It would seem that my mother’s peculiar form of psychosis is rearing it’s ugly head again, and she’s targeting my wife…

She sent me a very lengthy email containing a story she overheard in a conversation between some people sitting near her in a coffee shop. The problem is that the story is outlandish, incredibly so, and it just so happens to parallel a great deal of my life, and coincide with advice my mother had previously given me, suggesting I leave my wife.

No, my wife and I don’t have any problems, no we weren’t thinking of any such thing, and in spite of being married for eight years at the time, my mother told me that my wife and I weren’t right for one another and that we should leave each other. She also insists that my wife does not like her or the rest of my family, and that she’s ‘keeping me around for sex’. Yes, my elderly mother accused my lovely wife of keeping me around for sex. God Lord.

My wife has actually gotten along very well with my mother in the past, though understandably has been restrained with her since this episode, as my mother did also state that she’d never liked my wife. The reason? Well you know that persecution disorder she’s been manifesting? One of the signs, dear reader, of this group who’s harbouring ill intent for my mother, in her own mind at least, is the colour purple. My wife used to like the colour purple, and did at one stage a long time ago wear a lot of it. My mother uses this as her evidence that my wife is part of some governmental force dictating certain aspects of my mother’s life.

I’ve responded to the email, stating clearly that her attempt to manipulate me has not gone unnoticed, and that I don’t appreciate the slanderous comments unsubtly made against my wife.

I’m saddened, dear reader, very saddened. This is not senility, no this is something quite different, and I fear for my mother’s mind.