The Bear Minimum

Oh yes they will. ‘They’ are my extended family, my aunt and uncle, to be specific. They will be arriving - or supposedly they will be - in the next few hours. These people don’t believe in punctuality, so I don’t know exactly when they will be arriving. They are even bringing with them a two-and-a-half year old that I don’t know, who is the child of the daughter of their long time friend. They are minding the child for the next two weeks. I am really not looking forward to having my home invaded, but it can’t be helped.

Unfortunately for me, they have something that I needed, something I had left at my mother’s house when I visited there last week. Instead of simply posting it to me, my aunt informed me that she would deliver it to my house, as they would be in my city this weekend anyway, to pick up said tyke.

Now, I do care for my family, but I feel extraordinarily awkward around them. They and I are on such different wave-lengths as to render conversation pointless to one or the other of us. If I talk to my aunt, she will happily natter on about things that interest her with nary a pause for breath. This can go on for quite a long time. She is one of those people who miraculously fills vast amounts of her time with seemingly useless tasks. She was once four hours late to my house because she was ‘laminating Yu Gi Oh’ cards for her nephew. The boy was under five, so had a record for destroying these cards, but liked them nonetheless. So my aunt, being the person she is, put me out, wasted hours of my time, so the boy could have the cards, and not be able to destroy them.

She is a very well meaning person, and if you told her that her chronic lateness was actually a form of arrogance, she would not believe you, and wouldn’t understand you should you care to explain the matter to her. My uncle, on the other hand, is almost mute. The man barely talks, ever, and should you try to engage him in conversation, you will, dear reader, be waiting a while.

He often takes so long to form a reply that my aunt, who more than makes up for his lack of verbosity, will answer for him. It makes for a stunningly awkward conversation. So here I sit, knowing that supposedly any minute she could call and tell me that she is on her way, but also knowing that, knowing her, she could be hours away. I heave a sigh now, dear reader, for the frustration I feel when dealing with these people. They are good people, but as I said, we are in very different mental landscapes, and I don’t care to try to adjust to fit into theirs, and I don’t believe they could understand mine.

For now I must be off, dear reader, in order to prepare my mind for the ensuing ordeal.